I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
i had to get the starbucks manager to open the bathroom door for me...you passed out on the floor, the things i do for you
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
All I've eaten today is cookie dough, pecan pie and three shots of jack. Finals week here I come.
I stole something. Which direction out are you guys gonna go
Fyi your toilet is not contaminated. We'd have to scissor pretty hard to pass what I got.
So ran into your ex from sophomore year last night... Apparently hes gay and a stripper now. we all got lap dances because we knew you
I just ordered 30 klonopins from India that could probably be anything from Viagra to Midol. You need to find another friend to get advice from right now
Why is there a cash register on top of my car?
He's being awfully beer snobby for a guy who ordered salad
I think I'm pregnant again.
or as we call it, thursday.
the staff put glowsticks in the urinals of the porta-pottys last night and honestly drunk me has never been more grateful for anything in his life
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