The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
It was good I woke up with my mattress on top of me. I walked around naked the whole night as people wished my Happy Birthday.
Was last night real? Did I lick your forehead while you laid in between my legs while we laid next to your boyfriend?
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
PS: I just woke up from my shower
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
Not now. Out of camp chairs. Carving a new one with a chainsaw. Mushrooms are starting to kick and I gotta get this done NOW.
I can feel your judgement through the phone
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
my ex logged me out of his netflix so im gonna fuck his bestfriend as revenge
My boss spotted an injured PIGEON outside the front door this morning (at 3:30am) and requested that I catch it and take it to the vet. Catch it with what! Take it where!These requests have gone too far...
Dude, A DAMN CHEESEBURGER HIT ME IN THE FACE!!! WTF was i suppoused to do!?.
So random question: what's a good way to tell your brother that his Skype sex kept you awake last night? I'm not really sure how that conversation begins.
Randomize
