I am spending my child support on dildos
it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
Her gay brother kept hitting on me and cockblocking me. Don't even begin to tell me how bad your night was.
And this is the part where I need you not to judge me. Remember that I have never seen a penis do that and that I have a weird sexual curiosity
This tiny cat is tiny breathing with her tiny lungs and im having a tiny freak out. Like those lungs have to be super tiny.
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
Just came to the realization that what I thought were orgasms were just lightheadedness from hyperventilation. My entire sex life is a lie.
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
There's a super pregnant woman here complaining about back pain. I better not see a live birth in the hair care aisle
I just feel like I'm worth a little bit more than your recycled nudes...
She turned down sex for beer pong. I'm not sure if I should be disappointed or not.
Maybe i don’t have a tell. Maybe wine is my poker face.
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
He did a backflip because drugs
Randomize
