We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
i love rice pilaf. whoever invented that i would give them a hug.
SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
Waking and baking has revolutionized how i brush my teeth. Seriously up to like 25 min everry morn. Highly recommend
i feel like you're just hanging onto the edge of functioning wino.
Do you know who the random guy who just walked in to kiss me goodnight is?
i can't believe you just compared my dick to leprosy
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was drinking wine out of a pyrex measuring cup at two in the afternoon and told me my ass looked fantastic in my sweatpants. I love university
I asked the subway guy how many cookies he thought I could smuggle into the bar. He said it looked like a 6 packer. he was correct
Nothing bonds a father and daughter like washing her puke off the front steps
So because I got upset you didn't answer I threw my phone in the garbage disposal last night
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
I don't remember much from my 21st, but my mom said I insisted on the fat guy taking body shots off me
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