she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
I hope you fall in a pool of honey in an immensely populated region of bears.
I just threw up a christmastime peep. I am literally already sick of the holidays.
Don't pass out before midnight like you did last year. See how much your year sucked
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
Tried to eat a chip. Mouth wouldn't cooperate. Nearly died. Wow I've missed this.
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
Someone shat in our tub last night. I'm not pointing fingers but you priors make you a prime suspect.
Def over. He sent me a nude selfie but cropped it right above his junk. Total Silence of the Fucking lambs looking.
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
He fucked me while wearing a unicorn horn. I think I have found the one...
Oh man I missed being single! Two different guys just sent me dick pics during my kid’s little league game.
Randomize
