Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
So, you didn't have time to come pick me up but you did have time to get plastered and then write "champagne money" on every one of my statuses for the past month?
I can't wait to be a mother. My daughters gonna outdrink every boy in her grade
You have all of her herpes and none of my sympathy
When the cops pulled up I just stood flat against the fence with my hands up while yelling out,"I'm a tree!!"...
I feel like telling him your vigina was older than him was not a good pick up line.
What's it called where you go to the stripclub with two guys that have both gone down on you...
Tuesday
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
You know that if they offer you a bagel they are determined to sleep with you, right?
Girl I'm contemplating picking up some adult diapers. That's how bad this is and it's only day 2.
you found yr lighter in yr cleavage and said so that's where you've been all my life
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
Wow. I want to climb Santa. You've made my mind go places I wasn't prepared to explore.
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
Randomize
