Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
So I just tried to wake him up with a blow job and he literally touched the top of my head and said snooze button
I've been living off of popsicles and broth.
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You'd think somebody who rolls blunts like jesus himself could roll a god damn burrito
Hey. I can't work your space dryer so I'm wearing your blanket home. I'll get my clothes later. Fun party!
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
did I ever tell you about my gay jesus theory?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You used your chihuahua as a pillow screaming "HE'S A PILLOW AND A PET" and proceeded to puke in the dog bed
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
and you fell through a lawn chair
You know you have a good math teacher when we're talkIng about mixture problems and no one gets it until he explains it by talking about mixing alcohol
Its because she suspects I'm a frequent drug user, which I am, but I am going to make her feel like she is crazy for believing it.
I had to break up with her. She was sending me study schedules and recipes for vegan lasagna. I’m just trying to survive man
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