even in the morning, she still thinks my british accent is real.
After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
I'll have you know that I'm still picking duct tape residue off my wrist from sunday
This morning I learned I traded my sunglasses for a Big Lebowski sticker at the football game.
Dude, for your own safety, do not bring that chick home. I'm pretty sure you're going to find a marsupial pouch smuggling a fresh batch of herpes under that hoodie. Bail bail bail bail bail.
Well, I just did coke with a drag queen in a bathroom so that's the direction this night is taking
I thought it was a drawer and tried to pull it out and it wasnt a drawer it was the police call button. I hate everything.
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
Awkward drunk fist bump with the boss. Not sure if tomorrow will be weird or wonderful.
I'm glad we can *facepalm* it together over the married couple we fucked separately.
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
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