We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
im gay
i know
yea but for you.
Im gonna name my vag after egypt, "the valley of kings"
I drank almost a whole fifth last night. Woke up with blood everywhere wearing a "stereotype this" tshirt. How fitting
she reminds me of the first time i discovered masturbation. that's how you know it's true love.
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
In hindsight, drunkenly yelling "I'M TICKLISH" might not have been an entirely wise decision
Also this guy in my contact as hairy jerry sent me a pic of him shirtless and said I miss you and I have no idea who he is /when or if I met him but that's not normal?!
I got with him in my watermelon costume so ya you owe me $1
I FEEL LIKE HILARY MUST FEEL WHEN TRUMP MANSPLAINS AT HER
I will be DAMNED if anyone but me breastfeeds my cat.
Well, I just puked in the shower in case anyone wants an update on how my day is going
I can’t believe you’re letting her use the Mercedes
It seemed like a better idea while she was giving me a hand job. It’s a good thing we weren’t having sex. Who knows what I would agree to during sex
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