Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
if we break up, who will get the dealer?
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
Last night you were talking while puking saying, "ahh the shoes and the purse, I'm gonna have to wash those"
He cut you off when you said Paula Dean was in your soul...He kicked you out when "Paula" started eating random peoples food
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
It's going to be great. We're a perfect team to break up marriages and happiness.
I was so stoned on the way to work, I pretended you were in the car with me. We sang "Mrs. Jackson" by outkast.
Don't lose. A little bit of my soul dies every time a beer pong game is lost.
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
I shaved my pussy for you. If you complain about a single hair that I missed again, you will be greeted by a bush the next time you go down on me and i will MAKE YOU KEEP GOING
wtf I can't believe that bar tender told on me to my mom
Pretty sure my parents just hear me get off from the living room but I feel like they should be proud that I did it without a man honestly.
When was the last time you got laid?
When was the last time you came home sober?
touche
Randomize
