Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
i'm sitting pantsless eating potato chips and watching porn before he picks me up for our date. I hope he's ready for this...
That's terrible. At least give it a creative name like muff mobile.
Apparently, "please don't I have to be in court tomorrow" is not a valid excuse for a girl to abstain from giving a massive hickey.
Like theyre better than no shoes. I'm sitting her balls naked playing xbox in nothing but crocs with the fur
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
Before you started puking your brains out, you took a moment to give me the correct order of the Harry potter series
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
"Because this is an ongoing legal matter" is how his morning after sex text began. So...
Let's get drunk and take out your tonsils tonight
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
I had just gotten to his place and was about to get some dick. No way was I gonna let her negative attitude affect my orgasm feng shui
You took your pants and underwear off as soon as we got to Melissa's and just walked around the entire time like it was completely normal. We even ate pizza together with your vagina exposed. You're my hero.
He called my IUD an IED, and said that’s why I had bomb pussy.... I didn’t correct him
Randomize
