We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
How long is the appropriate time period between a pregnancy scare and breaking up with my girlfriend?
Remind me to tell you the "if you give a mouse a special brownie" story when you get back
I havnt even moved into my new place yet and there's already a county sheriffs card taped to the door with my name on it asking me to call him
This does no justice to the amount of paint I'm covered in or the amount of balls I'm tripping.
When he came downstairs he looked at me like I was attempting to rob his house.
Did you reintroduce yourself?
He threatened to call the cops.
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
I swear you won't find cereal in your washer machine again.
I don't care if we're married you can't just walk into the bedroom with a pizza box expecting to get laid
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
Wound up hungover. Visiting 4 y/o nephew suggested cookies and milk and playing Kirby with him with the sound down. This kid is going places.
I'm too over dressed and drunk for this emergency vets office
I mean, it was a fun hookup and he's cute and whatnot, but he wouldn't go down on me. Plus he's a republican. Idk why but those things feel like they go hand in hand.
It's only ok to pee out the window in the afternoon when you're drunk.
I love my cat. she doesnt judge when i stumble in my house drunk and pass out on my floor. my dog looks at me disappointed.
Randomize
