is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
That's why she's the girl with her life together and you're the girl with the penis drawn on your car.
my roommate just showed up covered in dirt, drunk....with a whole ice cream cake that says "it's a girl".
Just went outside to gather hail to use to make margaritas since we ran out of ice. That's God's way of helping us out.
She looked at me and said "i like penises." and then passed out with her condom balloon animal in her hands.
Okay good. I don't want another mom thinking I got their daughter pregnant.
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
I need to establish a pattern of dominance early.... I'm like a slutty Cesar Milan
Drinking loves me for WHO I am
Never let him bartend when he's tripping. He sprinkled a ton of mexican shredded cheese over a jack and coke and called in a Monterey Jack Daniels.
Now I have the opportunity to have Chris Pratt or Channing Tatum?!? What a time to be alive.
I feel like my entire body is ashamed of me today
You're a god amongst men today
Now all my porn is stored in my parents’ basement. It’s like a part of my soul is boxed up
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