If you could channel this insane talent for stalking you'd be a great weapon for this country. If you had a crush on Bin Ladin, guaranteed he'd be found, monitered and tagged within five days.
things I have learned from cosmo today- 40% of guys are uncircumsized, you can have a beer facial, and i really need to get tested for std's
I'm hoping you can explain why I woke up with what I believe is pumpkin pie all over my body
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
do you remember when we thought we were both knocked up by the same guy like two days apart and would have half twins? Thats a best friend moment.
I was late because I helped this old romanian lady mow her lawn at 2AM.
Also, I've found a new way to get drunk at work for free. Everytime I make a bushwhacker and there's extra... I put it in a cup. Its the Never ending drink.
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
I just used a thesaurus to write a sext...
I make him buy me all the extremely expensive high end Mac cosmetics I desire. Wear it then let him cum on my face. I am fucking glamorous.
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
She was blacked out on the couch MASTURBATING and whispering to her boyfriend...who wasn't there. I yelled her name and she didn't even pause.
Randomize
