Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
One of my students just told me turtles are lazy and need to get a job. Fuck yes, my job here is done.
rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
Weirdest sensation ever: having your penis fall asleep. It was like tiny hulk hogan was choking it out
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
I don't want my vagina anymore.
He just said "I can't wait to penetrate you tomorrow" I sat in silence for a second...he attempted to save it by saying "I can't wait to enter you".
There's nothing like a guy talking about your vagina as if it's delicious food to make your day better.
Great... now even my dreams are making fun of me
So there i was right, midnight, washing my junk off in my bathroom sink.
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