She told me she only masterbates to Kenny Rogers songs.
OMG. What did u say?
I told her I did too.
My cock was attacked by outdoor plants
Did you know Kal Penn works at the white house? That's almost white castle.
One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
I hope you realize that its not me making that decision, but rather the combination of my genitals and sexual orientation
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
I think we've entered a low point in our relationship when I'm sending you pictures of pubic hair designs "because they're funny"
you sternly forced jackson to start preheating the oven around midnight so you could make bagels in the morning
you were serious about those bagels
Please don't judge me for my hormonal purchase, judge me for my awesome rack.
she was sitting on the toilet asking for me to take a "cute facebook profile picture" for her
I can’t believe you’re letting her use the Mercedes
It seemed like a better idea while she was giving me a hand job. It’s a good thing we weren’t having sex. Who knows what I would agree to during sex
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
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