1:32a: I quit. signing up for eharmony. Don't judge
White wifebeaters are like orgies with fat people. Enjoyable in private, i'm sure, but in public: no thanksss.
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
note to self... there IS such a thing as having too many birthday shots...
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
I never thought that taking apart multiple age 5 and under puzzles would be part of my house party clean up process.
Yeah, sorry about that. I just couldn't stop.
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
Both of our knuckles were split open this morning when I came out of the blackout, the column on the porch has two new cracks in it, were like the redneck Super Smash Bros.
There's nothing more awkward than going on a beer run with 3 ten year olds....teacher of the year right here!
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
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