Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
I don't understand but I fell asleep naked holding a tub of cool whip and a boiled egg
I've only been home four days and my parents' cleaning lady already wrote down the number to AA and told me she's praying for me.
Come, dress lightly, bring tequila...
We were dancing and she was clawing my stomach like a fat kid getting to a half broken pinata.
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
I bet, I woke up to you like naked at 4 in the morning shoving a sandwich in your face
I was originally going to go as fembot from Austin Powers
I wanted to have tiny guns for tits
If she's over 40, she won't believe you if you say " I'm only going to put the head in"
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
Just don't let me do two things: Beer bongs filled with vodka or shot competitions
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
Randomize
