the bitch is dead man
YOUR DOG DIED?
no i meant my mom has passed out .. so i'll be over soon.
Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
I make my boyfriend pay for half of my birth control. We call it his monthly rent.
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
Don't be a smartass. I'm trying to fuck a guy who's sober. It's more difficult than you think.
The Wii Fit is already telling me I'm an alcoholic.
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
walk of shame to my ortho appointment. kids are staring. this little girl just asked her mom if she can havr glitter in her hair too.
Long story short he broke into a preschool and threw all their cones into a tree.
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
When she tells her friend, "hey I'll be back tomorrow, just going to fuck a guy", right in front of you, you know you've got a winner.
Maybe if I ever do become a counselor, I would just implement a kind of intensive meme therapy.
Its weird to introduce me to his wife and kids on the first date, right?
My boss walked into my office and gave me a toothbrush and tips for dealing with sex hair. She knows what’s up
This date is awful. He’s too boring to bang
Is porn accurate? Can I order a pizza and do the delivery boy?
Randomize
