3 of us had 22 margaritas. Hellllllo yellow cab. Goodbye morals.
Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
He wouldnt get hard, then started talking about his ex wife. I literally rolled over and started to cry
I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you went around the entire night in your french maid costume dusting off the "cob webs" on everyone's crotch saying "you havent gotten any action in a while"
I was wondering why i got so many friend requests the next day...
found a half eaten roll befind my toilet today. my birthday just keeps popping up.
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
You kno how some people just need a "everything will be alright" pat on the back? I need an "everything will be alright" blowjob right now. Come over
In times of desperation, never...NEVER put green apple scented hand sanitizer on your vagina.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I asked the cop if I could see his dick- It's not like he could arrest me twice.
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
Like he held up the condom afterwards, twirled it with his finger, and said "look at that load"
literally took my pants off in the middle of bourbon last night without taking off my heels im a super human i guess
Omg in one week, two guys with their own names tattooed on their bodies had their tongues in my mouth. Self loathing shall commence now.
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
Randomize