it's like i warped into dreamland and the only thing that makes sense is my solo cup
2 am we went back to his house. his mom handed us beers and cooked us pancakes. the next morning his dad had washed my car. i lied. living at home after college definitely does not suck.
She tased me when I walked in the door. Thought I was trying to steel her weed.
You rolled out of the car, got on all fours and puked then just nonchalantly stood up and waved goodbye and thanks for the ride.
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I want to say that being forced to stare at the 'no.1 boyfriend' collage behind his head ruined the sex but it just didn't.
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
He's like Medusa, you can't look directly into his eyes or you'll turn into a slut.
Got paid to make out with a girl. It takes skill to be this drunk and still make money
animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
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Do I not have a Brazilian bc of my boyfriend situation or do I not have a boyfriend bc of my brazilian situation?
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
I'll take care of you. Just let me pee on this old white person's car first.
Well I kept shouting "you're groovy" at him and then I had a 15-minute argument with the bouncer about how many 9s there are in 100... it was definitely time to go home.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
I'd just like to take a moment now to apologize sincerely for getting drunk and making an as of myself at your Christmas party next week. I'm especially sorry for sleeping with your baby sister.
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