Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
i kept drunkenly begging people i met to be in my facebook mafia
the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
I just got home. Seriously all I remember is taking out my contacts and putting your balls in my mouth.
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
He keeps the condoms in his bible. I guess stairs or elevator, we're getting to hell one way or another.
I definitely managed to work the word "aforementioned" into the conversation.. At least I'm an intelligent sexter.
we put a pacifier in your mouth because you kept drunkenly singing country music.
I just threw out a whole Christmas ham, 12 positive pregnancy tests, 3 empty vodka bottles and by ex boyfriends Latina porn collection in the same garbage bag. The homeless person who goes through the bins tonight knows I have nothing left to loose.
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
Wanna smoke some ancient weed I just found in a box of cake mix?
My ex's new gf is pregnant and he is sterile, so 2016 is starting off well.
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
My vagina cried when he left. I think she's about to be at war with my self respect.
Randomize
