i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
Just made a Mimosa with Chardonnay and Emergen-C.
I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
There's just something about sucking a flaccid dick that makes me feel so calm. Like a baby cow..
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
I wonder what it's like for my roommate to live bicuriously thro my sex life
You had me at "mimosas" several texts ago.
Screw disneyland. This military base is the happiest place on earth. Even unnatractive dudes are completely fuckable in those uniforms, im never leaving
Yo, go checkout Kerri's Instagram quick! There's like 12 pics of her fucking some guy in a bar's bathroom. GO GO GO GO!!!!
I can't tell if my bong is gender-neutral or not
Gotta get new sheets. ..I fucked the satin off mine.
I feel like they've probably fucked. Like.. you don't just bring a bitch a Big Mac if you haven't fucked her.
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
I just met him at a place called the meat farm, Jesus be a shield.
Randomize
