I'm calling you out on twitter if you don't come over right now.
i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
they're like a gay fantastic four
who were those guys at the table sniffing dryer sheets?
I think god is proud of me so he is rewarding me in discounted wine
I asked if he wanted to come over and he said he was busy. Then I sent him a pic of me in the bath with the bottle of wine I already finished and all of a sudden he was free. Booty calls are too easy.
To be so small, the mini-horses are exceptionally aggressive. And fast. Very, very fast.
Abort! Abort! He almost bit off a finger!
A blind man just put his face in my cleavage. I'm also crying.
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
He literally named all the parts of the vagina as he fingered me. No more pre-med virgins.
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
Randomize
