i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
i really wish someone from a royal background would fuck me so i could literally say i was 'royally fucked'.
It's shedding
I told you penises don't tan
Hey. Me and my buddy are drunk. you wanna give us tattoos of the hawaiian punch guy we shall pay very well. Seriously dude. no bull shit.
His hands kept asking for sex, but all I could think was "dude, this is going to ruin my high".
In other news my cocaine dealer got arrested for heaving some kid out of a fourth story window.
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
Why are there jello shots in the kitchen drawer?
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
It says a lot about the way my life is going right now that 'there's no shit in your house' is fucking good news.
Well. I mean as excuses for running late go, 'losing track of time in the bathhouse' has gotta be up there on the top ten.
ugh i want to get waxed but I’m afraid. my vagina has had enough trauma this week, i don’t know if I can put her thru any more.
It's days like today that make me happy I'm not a porn star.
Do you remember telling those ppl that they need to mate and give you the baby and in 15 years you will all reunite and it will be a party?
Randomize
