Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
I still can't believe I found a dildo in my ceiling today.
I started singing the national anthem on a train in London. Happy 4th of July assholes
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
I've been on this train for an hour and this women has been on the phone and all she's said is "guuurrrrrlllll, gurl, gurl." I may commit suicide.
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
I just had a mental image of us riding a tractor through hell with one of those big guns mounted on top of it shooting at everyone while the indiana jones music plays.
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
Well you fished my watch out of a possibly vomit filled toilet so I think we're bros now.
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
The fact that I bookended my summer with pregnancy scares doesn't upset me. The fact that he's a trombone major does...
I keep having dreams where I tie him up and eat cookies off of him while riding him. Wtf brain.
He asked me if I want to play Uber Driver, is this some new sex game or is he drunk and asking for a ride home?
I'm at her wedding and she managed to get every single one night stand I ever had in her wedding party. Why does she hate me?
I am now gainfully employed. Parents, lock up your children.
Yay! Welcome to the world of "you're seriously trusting me with your kid?"
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