i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
I turn the corner to find her walking in the front door in a tee-shirt, two different shoes and no pants. All she said to me was "I'm sad"
I knew it was time to leave Waffle House when you started singing "What's Your Fantasy" to your hash browns.
Just asked my dog if he was proud of me for making it home. That drunk.
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
today is just not my day... it could be raining penises and I would get hit in the face by a vag
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
That guy drinking savagely was actually at his buddy's gay bachelor party in the male stripper section. He came over to the chicks side so we drank with him.
He had some sort of penis-related post traumatic stress disorder, but body shots seemed to wake him up
He's a psychology major, so instead of becoming a stripper, I'm just working out my daddy issues with him. And his cock. And spankings.
They're much more educational now btw. Don't judge.
'allo, good sire. how dost thy day goeth?
oh no. you're at that weird Renaissance Festival thing again, aren't you?
I am an inebriated elf. you may fucketh off.
I told you about the baby at the graduation party that looked into my eyes and knew I was empty inside
After the "sex" was over I dressed as quickly as possible. And then he came over to me stark naked and embraced me. For over a minute. And all I could think was please get your penis off my dress.
Randomize
