Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
Just found a dugout in my rental car glove box. Suddenly my mood is upbeat.
I'm also annoyed at my horoscope for not warning me of my perils
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i knew it was going to be a good night when i was bleeding, licked it and it tasted like miller light
I just realized that I'm gonna have to lower my standards if I want random head.
I made two strippers play rock paper scissors to see who would give me a lap dance last night
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
Is it possible to rally from a drunken seizure?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fuck man, my Dad's been single so long I get him a year's sub to a porn site every year for for Father's Day
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
Isis wins if we don't have the loudest, kinkiest sex in every part of my house tomorrow
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
Randomize