perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
Sometimes I wish I could peel his face off and use it to take all the money out of his account.
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
I think I fixed my testicle. That's why I didnt pay $25 for a doctor to do it
Hahaha it was a great moment in my life. This must be what post child birth feels like, given you don't get a combined asshole/ vagina
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
I want Walter White to make me a bologna sandwich while I'm chained to a support
I swear to god if you eat that last piece of pie while I'm gone I will never speak to you again. I'm so serious.
All I wanted was to die alone with my dogs....how did I end up here
I don't know if I should laugh or punch you
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
Randomize
