were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
i just renamed my vag "the sorting hat"
I'm tuning in to watch Heidi Montag crash and burn on the Miss Universe Pageant. Somebody call 911. and I'm not talking about the Sean Kingston song.
around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
I had a dream that I had 21 friend requests. it was the best day
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
PLEASE DON'T BE HEARTLESS COME AND GET ME FROM THE BAR I'M HIGH AS SHIT AND I LOST MY SHOES
The feeling I get when I hear beer bottles clinking must be what children feel when they hear sleigh bells on Christmas Eve
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
We found you facedown on his couch in a pile of cheerios, with only one shoe on. Dude you said you were staying in last night.
It could be worse. I was dumped by a guy in a kilt after he gave my shoes away on St. Patrick's Day.
We're going as conductors of the hot mess train and nobody rides for free
Our tip jar will say "just put the tip in, see how it feels"
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
Randomize
