I bet when she looks at herself in the mirror she wishes brown paper bags were in fashion.
you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
i'm gonna need a rally to restore sobriety after this weekend...
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
Cocaine Wednesdays have to stop turning into no work Thursday
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.
WHY DO I WANT TO FUCK EVERY GUY THAT BREATHES
I'm FaceTiming Pizza Hut.
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
If someone made a breakfast cereal that was a cross between lucky charms and fruity pebbles and called it unicorn power with a huge fucking rainbow and a unicorn standing in a pot of gold on the box, they would be rich. Not only monetarily but spiritually as well...
How do you explain to your mom that you let your friend stab you in the leg while drunk and high on coke?
I fucked a marine... I told him it was like personal revenge and he said he could live with that and that he didn't mind being used.
How does the curb feel today?
It's stronger than my elbow. But I found my lighter while I was down there.
Randomize
