So I've officially decided that I AM that drunken mistake that girls hate themselves for in the morning.
I truly believe that the solid foundation of any healthy relationship is a drunken one night stand so I can just get all the nasty shit out on the table
He's got serious oatmeal ass...take a moment and admire how google voice to text was able to detect oatmeal ass....twice
We were both halfway out the window trying to give each other high fives over the roof while the dude was going 150.
Not enough clothes on. Not enough vagina. Not enough drugs in my body.
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
mid blow job she looked up and said "we aren't even facebook friends!"
I want a burrito.
Truly, you are the voice of a generation.
An open call to all exes! i have a drunk text policy that requires i delete any and all texts after drink 3, however i have reason to believe i have done something stupid. if i have texted you that "I love you", "miss you" and/or conveyed any interest in getting back together with you in the last 24 hours i was belligerent and lying. That is all.
I swear 95% of pictures on my phone are from drunken nights I don't remember with me doing a peace sign alone in somebody's bedroom.
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
I don't know what the hell I'm going to do with myself when this is all over. I'll probably just go back to smoking pot and trying to learn italian.
kind of bad when u call a cop an asshole for driving you home from the bar
Randomize
