Mines from giving head on hardwood floors.
Every time I find out someone else from high school got pregnant accidentally, I want to declare victory over them.
I'm playing wingman, but I want to pull a Goose and die.
Piggyback rides are my preferred mode of transportation.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
I feel like tequila heightens the sense of my nipples.
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
I'm gonna do some tripping... In the direction of balls
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do I have to formally apologize to Brett for flashing him?
It's a beautiful day to be high as fuck
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
I am so horny that I an legitimately concerned for your safety when I see you tonight.
I was too hungover to sit up and pull the curtains closed so I did it with my toes
I have a bag of frozen peas on my vagina. If you want to talk about real problems.
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