Theres a random in my bed. Omg but at least he's a law student?
I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
I opened my browser to a doctor page titled "serious pain under left side of ribcage". Last night must have been healthy.
I have teeth marks. Like distinct upper and lower jaw.
Yeah me too. My shoulder looks rabid.
I don't know if it's the amount i drank last night or the number of taylor swift statuses on facebook but i feel like puking everywhere
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
A girl just told me she printed out my pictures and taped them on her wall. I have to stop sleeping with virgins.
Judging by his bulge. This guy is going home with me. Who doesn't want a dick that looks like it used to be a pillar in Rome.
Can we do lunch at 3? I have a blowjob scheduled for 2.
You schedule blowjobs?
I did a trust fall off the bar and then almost got into a knife fight over a push up competition. Just another Tuesday.
the best part is that i get to keep the pot plants and he still has my name tattooed on his ass
I was not drunk. There was Star Wars, sex, and baby oil.
Idk if I want to put a bra on
Randomize
