Have fun fixing the bed from last night Bob Villa.
At least you didn't call me Brittany this time
Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
its like the voldemort of pregnancies, we don't talk about it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
Don't count me out just yet. Considering bartering a blowjob to see if that boy from work will take my shift.
Dude...that line about her giving me a blowjob to get rid of her hangover actually got rid of her hangover. Spread the word.
It's like hey here is one penis enjoy nothing but that for the rest of your life
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The secret to finals week is to have an orgasm for every point you need on the test before you take it.
You tried to use him as a battering ram. I'm 99% certain that's why he left.
FUCKIN BIRDS ARE CHIRPING AT 4 IN THE MORNING. THE SUN ISN'T RISING YET MOTHERFUCKERS, GO BACK TO YOUR NESTS.
ETA 20 minutes and if you greet me at the door with a gin & tonic I’ll give you head.
yeah, I woke up with nacho cheese crusted all over my face and head...a lone jalapeno still stuck in my ear...you win this round drunk nachos....
If that pentatonix bullshit is playing when I get home we're breaking up
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