I wannas sexs uuuuu
I've decided that life's journeys are more fun when your moral compass hangs in front of you and swings with each step
she said, "is it ok if I touch it?" that's when I knew I was in trouble... I knew she was a virgin but seriously..
Green mimosas i think yes
Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???
Shes sitting on the front porch puking in to the pumpkin she just carved...in the rain. I guess pumpkin spice tequila shots wasnt our best idea.
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
They just keep looking funny at me. No one has attempted to tell me that I don't make sense though so maybe they're all way more high than I am.
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
Hooking up with him was lovely.. but waking up in his bed the next morning and finding double stuffed oreos... I mean.... I won
I just ordered $70 worth of pizza and I'm not even ashamed. Happy Valentine's Day to me.
He told me to be a woman and make him dinner. So I threw a bagel at him and went out to dinner.
All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in
A black cat walked my drunken ass home last night and made sure I made it back into the apartment safe. Sat with me for 30 minutes as I struggled to unlock the door. Guardian angel or drunken hallucinations?
Randomize
