wanna go halves on a baby?
The iPhone is ruining my ability to sex message. My 5-year-old cousin just picked up my phone at my grandmas birthday party and read "I wanna stand you up and fuck you from behind" to my entire extended family bc of popped up on my screen
Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
you tried to do a keg stand and ended up flipping over it and onto the table
craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
it's so much work when my dad takes my car to get fixed, i had to take out the bottles, condoms, and my pipe
I can't believe you're fucking in the bar bathroom, but everyone else can, and they're really proud.
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
One day we'll be rich enough to go to rehab. Until then, fuck it.
He used pronouns for his penis while sexting. I don't know what I did to deserve this.
I think the moment she woke up butt naked on a mattress with her phone still on her face was the point she knew last night was fucked up
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
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