Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
Do you think when graham bell invented the phone he ever thought that people would be using them to facebook on the shitter?
can u get pink eye on your cock?
Just had a serious bathroom emergency at walmart a and it appears that i ate a taco bell burrito wrapper last night
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
I wonder if she thought to herself "I'm gonna sleep with that guy tonight" when she watched me puke on the bar at 3 in the afternoon?
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
Smuggling a beer bottle full of vodka out of the bar with a tampon as a plug for the top of the bottle wasn't one of my classiest ideas... but your hangover proves it was resourceful and effective. Your welcome.
I actually bought food at McDonald's as an apology for what I was about to do to their bathroom.
i know i saw many looks of jealousy when i walked solo into subway carrying a cheesy gordida crunch after taco bell closing hours
I'm sure for most of the people, it was the one and only miracle they will see
I'm just opting for alcohol abuse, ramen and cuddling with my dog for now.
On a happier note, I can fit in my old shorts. Dope does have its perks
She turned off her phone alarm (which was the theme song to Star Wars) and then asked me if I wanted a blow job before she went...of course I am going to see her again.
I don't want to spend an inordinate amount of time with you, I want to have sex with you. Duhhhhhh.
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