I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
I am solely responsible for the birth of their child. I mean, I did push them into the room and hold the door shut yelling "punch that kitty!". It has to be a sign.
Well at least he is okay. If you call the fetal position in my living room floor "okay"...
In less than 24 hrs I went from conversing with Nobel Laureate, to hangover vomiting in front of a drive thru cashier
Thank you for making it possible for me to get laid while having peace of mind my dog is well taken care of.
High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.
When I was leaving this morning he gave me some candy off his floor to prove he was a nice guy... He definitely knows the way to my heart. Best one night stand ever
i want to live in a society where a 20 year old can wear pigtails and not get them called handlebars, because i look fucking adorable in them.
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
Like, I can't stand that bitch, but i genuinely hope she gets the help she needs
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
It's a family event: you have to drink. No way around it. Its the law.
I don't even remember what dignity looks like anymore. I JUST WANTED TO ROAST SOME POTATOES
Randomize
