then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
Showering in the handicapped shower. Im THAT hungover.
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
the fact that he forgave me for making out with the bartender is proof that i can fuck my way out of anything.
I've had more sex in the two weeks since we broke up than I ever had in any two weeks we were together.
I joked that if anyone could fuck a 35 year old woman while wearing head bands and arm sweat bands it's you and look what happens.
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
And all you did was hit on me and do things "for America", so you weren't judged heavily
We can't go back there. Ever. No context required, just know it's true.
Long story short if you're going to get drunk on a sailboat at night leave your phone in the car.
I swear to God if you fuck my cousin I will fuck your dad.
His Instagram is like a gay porn blog all of the sudden got conquered by the Mormon missionary that he is
Oh yeah, you are a real peach except for shitting uncontrollably and bleeding out of your face.
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
We were dancing and then he pointed to the club floor and there was money that I dropped everywhere. That was the nicest thing someone has ever done for me.
Randomize
