I can only name 15 people I've had sex with - can I just start claiming that as my sex number?
We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
and then they started calling me 'Shitshow Shandra', which apparently i took as a compliment.
Watching dad use Doritos to illustrate exactly where to locate the clitoris. How's your family christmas going?
so I'm coping with getting the "I'm not over my ex" bomb dropped on me by getting drunk and yelling at people while wearing a purple princess hat
there is nothing like a happy birthday present when you wake up with a bow on your vagina.
Found our threesome girl. She says I'm pretty. She doesn't know I'm pregnant. Yet. Think we can pull it off?
She kept telling the ambulance to sit down and then started crying when we told her it couldn't hear her
All I can remember is posting my chicken burger in the post box. Postman is in for a treat.
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
Right now I'm standing in front of my fridge, drinking wine out of the bottle and eating cold steak with my hands. I am THE BEST at being single.
The last thing I remember about last night was guzzling white zinfandel out of the box and eating cheese. And I was thinking OH YOU FANCY HUHHH
id like to think im the only pot dealing prostitute that is also an ordained minister. but maybe not. what a time to be alive
Started mixing booze directly into the 2 liters and carrying them around. Mixing less often, and now kind of weightlifting,so double effecient.
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
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