Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
I feel like everything I touch in this bar I'm gonna get hepatitis. my kinda joint
This girl just texted me asking me to drop her cheese. What the fuck for that mean?
You don't care if I shave my legs, but you insist I be conscious for sex. Whatever. I really think your priorities are out of whack.
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
Hopefully my orange shoes will distract people's attention from my crippling awkwardness
I just passed a kid trying to leave on a lawn mower
I don't have any soul left to be crushed.
FUCK the WHO, FUCK cancer, I'm gonna eat fucking bacon.
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
Well I had to have sex with him so he would buy me plan b. The fact that I had sex with someone else last night who couldn't afford it is irrelevant.
They told him he could only pay in monopoly money and he pulls out a wad of it from his pocket... i think im in love
The streets are paved with hand jobs
Randomize
