dude this girl next to me farted in the middle of a quiz and denied my high five
bitch
Whatever is fine with me, as long as I am dressed in green and end up shitfaced.
there are 2 things i love giving: blowjobs & backrubs. how can i tell them that without sounding like a slut
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
So you really have to stop introducing me to girls and afterwards saying "he has his dick pierced" let them find out for themselves
Bad news: I found out that girl you want has a boyfriend. Good news: she'll probably cheat on him with you. Better news: after seeing the way she treats him, that's the most interaction you're going to want with her anyway. Trust me.
when seducing a hipster, do you think taking a nude pic on a lomo-camera app would increase my chances? grainy off-colored boobs and telling him how much i like reading salinger?
I hope your face alive. Lemme know if you are breathing in the morning. If not. Whoever is reading this tell me when the funeral for this awesome mother fucker is and we will rage at that event. Kthanksbye
Never do acid then ask for a blow job while watching 28 Days Later. Heed my advice.
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
chipped my right front tooth on a toilette. i figure if i keep drinking i won't care for at least 2 days
So I remember having an orgasm, but I didn't wake up next to anyone. Your dog is afraid of me. Is this a sick joke?
Things could not have gone more poorly if I had stripped naked and run through the Sahara with sirloins tied to my vagina.
I asked him if we could have sex sometime and he sent me a three page long text about his feelings for me. that's the only possible situation I've ever run into where a "k" response would have been more appropriate.
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
Randomize
