I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
I can tell how much and what I drank by my morning shits
We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
You make shower sex sound like waterboarding
Drank another frat president under the table. Thinking of starting my own, gonna call it Alpha Phi Alcoholics
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
you should have walked with me to my car. you just missed a girl rip off her bra and throw it into a dumpster and scream mardi gras
I bought everclear. Bring your party pants and some addies
You're not gonna punch me in the face again are you?
FYI, announcing your arrival at jail with "Hi,yes, I'm checking in? I believe I've reserved a bed, a 2 night stay this weekend?" is, in fact, frowned upon
hey, being drunk and dumb is my thing. Don't take that away from me.
Yesterday you said I was the best.
No. I said you DID your best. There's a huge difference.
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets
Me and I got head
I'm sitting here with a band aid on my labia, this is a first
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
Randomize
