Happy Easter!!!
I'm an idiot
Sometimes I wonder if my friend studies mystic Christian theology because he's afraid to come out of the closet. Evidently, it's okay to talk about God coming inside you, but not to say the same about dudes.
He didnt have condoms & didnt trust himself to pull out. Thats when I knew he was a keeper. So I blew him so he knew I was a keeper too.
True romance of the 21st century.
His facebook status was woke up with a whale ..... Captain AHAB IS BACK !!!!!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
by the time the kitchen caught on fire everyone was too drunk to be alarmed. the host just poured beer on it to put it out. how was yours?
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
Its the anniversary of our epic NBA All-star game weekend. The night the two of us cashed a 30-pack while watching the dunk contest
Her eyebrows were plucked so thin that she had to have gonorrhea. Clean girls just don't pluck that way
Look. I've got things to do today.. Will you hurry up and come over so I can give you some head and get my day started already
Outside
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just want to braid flowers into his hair and steal all of his pills.
You left me a message at 3am crying because you just found out there's a Paddington Bear statue in Peru.
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
Please tell me I did not drink enough whiskey to think that having sex with my boyfriend while his best friend was on the floor next to us was a good idea.
First time a guy goes down on me and his dog had its head on my knee the whole time. I swear it was judging me.
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
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