I have a new reason to go to work: I can tell which 3 of my coworkers are sisters just by looking at their butts.
you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
I was about to watch some really classy porn. Title was ravenous for dick. I didnt know pornstars knew ravenous was a word.
it got awkward when she realized that our nickname for her was "The Hambeast"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She just left after she spent the past 2.5 hours fuckin the shit out of me. I'll put that in the logbook as a cross country
Friends dont let friends get hit with a flaming baton without warning
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
Never thought I'd say this but I just want to go home, ice my balls, and pop a Vicodin.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you can't tell me not to come to work cause roads are bad then ask me an hour later to come in and expect me to be sober
Dude, I'm trippin balls. For real, I thought this bag on my floor was my dog for the longest time...
He walked in on me banging his sister and said "you're both old enough to make you own decisions. Carry on"
the only things my left hand does: catch/hold things and masturbation.
I passed out in my bed, but woke up on the dog bed,with no pants, snuggling with toilet paper and a bottle of softsoap. Ive hit a new low.
He showed up with a hearse full of beer and is currently shooting pumpkins with a flare gun. Who gives a shit if he's a furry. We need to party with him more often.
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