u know ur in oregon when the cop tells u to keep the beer cans he made u pour out so u can recycle them
On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
he is allergic to cats. we can only glue dog hair on him. otherwise he might die and i dont want to be responsible for that.
ahaha ok
let's call it "werewolfing"
That's the point dumbass, I can't use my boss as a reference cause they'd have to fucking call him in prison.
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
"It's not a date, we're just spending the entire day at a concert and then getting high together." Awesome.
You have found the Promised Land of friend zones
I feel like i'm walking on a never-ending field of baby sheep.
I literally just fucked insane clown pussy. 24 yo nut job moonlights at children's parties. Gave me head while still in full clown makeup from my kid's birthday party.
Seeing your one night stand on campus never gets less awkward. Why is Subway the only good place to eat?
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
An "unreasonable amount of ejaculate" isn't a reason to be angry at me.
I just watched an intern spill two trays of coffee inside a spinning door
Best exit from a building ever
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