no matter how many times i close my eyes and hit ignore on my phone. i must remind myself shit i still have to see her at work
Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
mom just called and i was mid bong hit but i answered anyways coughing and sounding rough she the apologized for waking her little angel up. its 2PM
She just flushed the toilet with her head inside it...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He asked me out while I'm back in town. I have to acknowledge and honor his persistence.
Your vagina must be laced with cocaine...
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
Nothing like banging your nurse in the shower while staying in the hospital
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life
I just forgot I was standing up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My new dentist just kinda stared at me when I told him that I used to have partial dentures after breaking 2 teeth while beating the shit out of someone, until I puked them into the toilet and flushed them after getting high and making myself undercooked mac and cheese.
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
My psychiatrist just sent me a dick pic
He sided with his father, so I slashed his tires. I’d say that’s a fair trade.
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