I had to puke in a pizza box on the drive home. People saw.
I went for the touchdown every play, and I think I ended up with herpes.
you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
I am the Bobby Fisher of drunk asss puking
i just had to wipe vomit off my fone to text you. yeah that hungover.
is it sad that I can recall my outfits by who took them off?
in the event i get tipsy, my nipples are your responsibility
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
He sprained his penis one time
He was "naked wrestling" and fell off the couch and landed on his erect penis
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
We are the best cocktail. We look appealing, taste amazing, and ruin lives.
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
You "drove" the computer chair around the party for a good fifteen minutes. you would crash into things, freak out, and yell for an ambulance.
Not going to make it tonight. Some cougar at the bar just told me she has dibs on my dick.
Randomize
