so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
I just had someone call me out on a walk of shame via megaphone
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
walk of shame to my ortho appointment. kids are staring. this little girl just asked her mom if she can havr glitter in her hair too.
You're on Grindr at the STD clinic. I love you.
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
I fell down the stairs while taking the dog out last night. I was laying there with the dog licking me face and my neighbor just stepped over me
I would pay to watch a Bravo special of you getting Botox.
I think I'm still high. And I definitely still smell like lobster, so there's that
Alternately I could tell him western classical is just a series of events that had to happen for music to reach the point where Beyoncé was able to pen drunk in love, which is the pinnacle of humanity's artistic achievement thus far
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
I'm so gassy and it's your fault.
Randomize
