I just wanted to draw pictures of limp wieners on peoples doors and smash pictures of palm trees. That's it.
high people should be assigned attendants
What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
When I get home we should play "let's see how many Christmas movies we can watch before we start having sex."
you never texted me what you wanted from the store so I got a piece of chicken and bottle of tequila. if you want anything else you are on your own.
You puked on my feet last night. You owe me a pedicure.
I just realized, I'm going to be on my period for the end of the world. FUCK.
He stared me down while singing "Let Me Love You" to me while we were having sex. I don't know whether to marry him or file a restraining order.
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
I just bought spray paint, a T-shirt, and a box of magnum condoms. The cashier refused to make eye contact! Haha
Randomize
