We were having sex on the balcony and this guy walked by, so drunkily i said "dont move, he cant see us if we dont move."
I was born with a shot glass in my hand
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
birthday sex, birthday sex, birthday sex
I'm on my period, period, period
you know you made it when your beer pong table is made from imported italian hardwood
I feel like hell. The amount of black beans I found in my hair tells me I hit rock bottom
Hahaha alright after 5 shots I'm not allowed to touch glass or boys with girlfriends.
Well, there goes the no drunk sex injuries resolution.
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
I got dressed on his front steps, peed on his neighbors lawn, then did a shoeless walk of shame home at 5am...
And noooow we're smoking a ton of REALLY strong weed and THIS IS THE SOFTEST CAT EVER
He ate me out while watching Fifty Shades of Grey---needless to say I'm locking this down
I left at 4:30 in the morning and I told him it was because I had to take my contacts out
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
It doesn't matter if it's only been 3 days since you last changed your sheets. If your fuck buddy comments on how your bed smells like sex, it's time to change them again.
Randomize
