She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
I am so stoned and my professor is handing out candy. I love Halloween.
You go to school with some of the ugliest girls I've ever seen... How are you not getting laid?
sooo my mom just yelled up the stairs " you left your bowl down by the computer"....aaand for a second I forgot cereal bowls still existed
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
I seem to have forgotten that I am wearing a one piece bathing suit under my clothes
Well I just put wine in my tea
there's people who respect me enough not to bang on my bed and i think that's beautiful
I gave her the last ten dollars to my name and bitch comes back with a six pack of bud light and a pack of sour patch kids
last night i was way too drunk and i was forcing people to let me tell them about mammals
She has my name on her bucket list. I’m either getting laid or killed
Randomize
