i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
He wouldnt get hard, then started talking about his ex wife. I literally rolled over and started to cry
You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
there was this guy running across campus barefoot in the pouring rain stepping in all the puddles. i want his life. and i want to be stripper.
I mean, once you get beat with a dildo you can't look at someone the same
Uhh, there's a legit bruise on my boob.. Again how does he manage this
You remember the guy that busted in waving a tazer at everyone yelling "get the fuck outta my crib"?
yeah you don't forget that shit easily
We ended up crawling out from our hiding spot and playing pool with him once he calmed down. His name is Marcus. I got his email.
She came to the party with six kegs and a life sized portrait of Lavar Burton. SHE WILL BE MY WIFE.
He just texted me asking if I remember pinching his eyelid shut with my eyelash curler.
Well, I'm getting my ex-boyfriend to get me a z pack to cure the chlamydia I got from my married fuck buddy so that I can fuck one of my students.
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
It's gotten to a point that when guys say "I'm gonna cum" I've developed a habit of responding "dooo itttt" in a deep voice. #isthatweird
Amanda, I can 99.9% assure you i'm probably never going to bang your mom
I DON'T LIKE THAT SENTENCE
Randomize
