Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
i feel like when youre not in my profile picture no one knows who i am.
It's just like the Real World with babies
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
The other night after we fucked we talked about Lowe's vision insurance. Never fuck a coworker.
1.) where are you? 2.) you making meatballs? 3.) Meatballs for sex?
Couldn't get it up. She asked me what she was doing wrong. Didn't have the heart to tell her. I appreciated her willingness to adapt, but she's pretty much gonna look that bad her whole life.
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
Whoever said that remembering a girls name is a basic rule for getting laid has never met me.
Who showers for four hours?!
It was like a tropical nap.
He looked at me and just said "moist". The entire party shut down from uncomfortableness. He is an anti-party wizard.
I just want to braid flowers into his hair and steal all of his pills.
I just hooked up with a one legged Australian guy. Hooray diversity!
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
Lessons learned from last night: do not leave me drunk and alone with strippers and a credit card. Let's do whatever's cheaper.
Randomize
