whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
there was a sad and surprising lack of "did strippers and blow" in that sentence
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
He stumbled into my room, flopped on my bed, shoes on my pillow and asked me for a juice box. Then fell asleep with the juice box on his forehead.
Because it was 5am and I had a shitty mixed drink and I was threatening to put my balls in your face.
Not the worst first impression I've experienced.
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
My sister's exploding appendix just cock blocked me...
Despite breaking my phone, thumb, and my dignity, last night was pretty good.
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
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