Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
He wants to call Lloyd's of London and have my mouth insured.
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
4 random people called me telling me they found him sleeping in the fetal postion on a driveway 45 minutes after we lost him
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
I have to be more responsible. I've dropped three lighters into my bong today.
We fucked on shrooms. It's like his dick was a beam of light and when I came I turned into a prism and my orgasms were made of rainbows.
Diet Starts Tomorrow! Guy from McDonalds asked if I got a new car...
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
what's your room number? I've never been there sober...
the texts you sent will act as the rosetta stone for all drunk people
He stole me a cantaloupe and we drunkenly broke into a park and ate it on a bench with my pocket knife. I think i need to marry him
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
You said you made a new recipe, but it turned out you just cooked ramen with vodka instead of water.
Randomize