Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
eating toast while peeing. You think this what kanye meant by the good life?
Pretty sure I left lotion and my bra in your car. I've secured your fathers belief that your straight. You can thank me later
I just want to apologize for screaming when I saw you the other day. It's just that you looked really gross and I was high.
When I opened my laptop there was a half eaten little debbie oatmeal cream pie inside.
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
I apologized for the whole SWAT team incident to the roommate.
I drank toilet water last night, I can't answer you because my phone is in rice.
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
I may or may not have tried to give myself a lobotomy
You know you're an adult when you start planning your hookup a week in advance
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
Randomize
