pissed the bed twice, first one side then rolled over , other side. boom.
I am about to be in my happy place. (the shower with a 6 pack)
You called me twice to tell me that you spit in your own eye, when I was right next to you.
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
we just finished a porn and sex toy shopping spree. this is the fun part of "being serious"
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
His penis smells like laundry I just wanted to cuddle it
Just think of your bundle of joy thats on its way. And how hes gunna rip your vagina apart
Die.
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
But the real reason your aunt is drunk crying is because she has already had four margs and went for a 5th and someone is trying to stop her
He tried to throw up into a beer bottle. It was a complete disaster. Vomit went everywhere. It put the Bellagio's fountain to shame.
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