break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
i have your red jacket for some reason. and a good deal of shame and embarasment. note to self, wear underwear when you wear a dress. also, i was electrocuted last night. dont ask how.
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
I wish I was there to have sex with you on the plane to lessen your anxiety.
That's the nicest thing anyone has over said to you.
Pro: She likes to masturbate to 50 shades of grey. Con: She reads 50 Shades of grey non-ironically.
I blew him while the canoe was sinking...I think of it as the better version of the titanic
My sobriety has gotten out of control. I think I need an intervention.
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
He came over and fucked me while my conference call was on mute. Working from home is the best.
the staff put glowsticks in the urinals of the porta-pottys last night and honestly drunk me has never been more grateful for anything in his life
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
Just let me put on a bra and brush the alcohol out of my hair.
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
Randomize
