I think someone spiked my drink last night. .. Like all 20 of them.
Best text conversation ever. Other than the one we had about using blood for lube.
my tits taste like a pina colada. how often do you get to say that?
tonight, alcohol would be proud of us
I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
It's almost summer. We need to start reconnecting with our home drug dealers.
Was waiting for the adderal to kick in then realized I had been brushing my teeth for eighteen minuites
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
I told him he could fuck me once he could grow a beard. Never expected seeing him ten years later with a goatee and a great memory...
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
Is it sad that I planned a a romantic trip to dunkin donuts for and with myself on Saturday, then added an equally romantic after midnight stroll through the half off candy sale? I find that worthy of adding a few cats to my collection agree?
Business idea: assless chaps for toddlers. I'm high.
Swear to god, somebody just drove by with mickey mouse in their passenger seat and he waved at me.
I refuse to fake an orgasm. If I'm dating him, he better work for that shit.
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