She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
She said her name was "party"
the real housewives of new jersey finale is tonight. it makes me wish we had pot.
I think I have a pornographic memory.
Don't you mean photographic?
No.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
Yessssss I diiiiid! I enjoyed 38% of it. There are 4 qualifications and 2 were good. 1. There is a penis in my vagina (Pass) 2. It's a big penis (Fail) 3. The sex is long and exciting and makes me sweat and have 6 pack abs (fail) 4. I got off (uhhh potential to pass...)
He wouldn't let me ride him with a Ninja Turtles hat on...
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wait. You NEVER used a Dizzy Doodler pen as a vibrator?!?
I mean, you have to swipe right on someone you had sex with last week though, right?
Just don't let me get too drunk. At one point I pulled out my dick and pissed at that party. Like on the wall.
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
We really gotta wear capes to the bar more often...
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
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