omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
the spit in my mouth is still 99% not mine.
Why did you just send me a picture of your dinner?
CAUSE LOOK HOW MUCH SPAGHETTI I'M EATING
Just sitting here contemplating the meaning of life.
So you're drunk waiting for the bus.
My legs feel like baby dolphins
We didn't have a place to have sex. So we timed the automatic car wash & spent $9 for 3 minutes and 45 secs of car sex.
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
Just cuz I'm recovering alcoholic does NOT make me the taxi for you every weekend
He drove me to my therapist appointment because I was too drunk to drive. Total keeper.
Feels weird riding an elevator with my tongue in my own mouth.
I never knew it was coming. He was cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, and then BAM! Best hookup ever.
He fucked me so hard my contacts fell out! Didnt know that was possible.
In the words of Disney’s Jafar, “desperate times call for desperate measures.”
Randomize
