U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
one day I'm really going to regret not using the boners I got in planes and cars
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
what you doin?
I just woke up vomited poured myself a chocolate milk and turned on the peoples court. you?
reread what you just wrote and reconsider your entire life
Just mindlessly walked into the mens bathroom. My vagina has now become its own independent being, looking for penises. I'm just along for the ride.
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
Like if there was an award for best way to take a girls virginity, he would get a standing ovation. And first prize. Probably a bunch of roses too. That good.
Im so tired of dysfunctional exs fucking up my relationships with future dysfunctional exs
This conversation has now reached a level of awkward that even a passerby streaking hobo couldn't break.
Sarah is throwing up still and I'm eating salad with my fingers
He danced with some other girls and you started yelling "I can't believe I wasted half my Chili's gift card on you" at him
Great. I broke up with him before he could like my selfie, now I'm down a like.
It's a sad night when one of your friend texts you that she's going on a date with someone you know and then invites you to maybe have a drink after
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
Randomize
