the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
There is a guy standing at my bar right now wearing an affliction SUIT. I can't wait on him.
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
On 3 separate occasions, she grabbed my bullhorn to announce to the entire party she had fucked me.
I wore granny panties last night to ensure I didn't sleep with him. He said they made me seem more mature. I need a new plan
I ordered a million chicken go wraps and they gave me five. Even when im drunk I can count to a million and know its not five. They fucked me.
Dude... You called me at 3am to tell me you still had your pants.
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
Talking to him sober hurts my brain
ETSY JUST SENT ME AN EMAIL WITH THE SUBJECT "SUMER ROMANCE" I'M BEYOND FUCKING DONE
I'm waiting for your stupid pizza and this 400 lb drunk man is behind me singing the acapella version of Elevation by U2
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
Randomize
